If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Randomize
