Im at strip club and am horny
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
