Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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