So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
