I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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