if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
