I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
