Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Swine flu. Run for my life!
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
