i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
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I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
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