I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize