I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
