from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
