I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
