he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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