"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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