Swine flu. Run for my life!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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