the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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