It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
