Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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