the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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