Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
