Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
