Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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