she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
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Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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