I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just had sex on a roof
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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