around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
