well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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