How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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