I only kidnapped one of them. chill
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
