Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
