i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
