That's intense
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
