i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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