One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Welp...herpes.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
