They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
