I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize