if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize