I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
