do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
