just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize