We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
