i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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