Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
In America we eat man semen.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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