That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
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not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.