Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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