the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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