why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I can't turn off my feet"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
