"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
