I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Boobs speak an international language.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
