Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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