I wish i was in the wii world.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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