I'm so fucking centered right now
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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