When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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