I bet he comes in French.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
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Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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