We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
