theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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