we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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