matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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