he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
