I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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