Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
