is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
