You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
