You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
